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  An hour later we were ready to roll.

  I was doing a stunt myself in this scene which was unusual; normally I just coordinated these days.

  “Camera rolling…and action,” Laila shouted.

  I revved the motorbike and drove out into the field. My aim was to get to the galloping horse, with a stuntwoman on top and join her on the horse. In the movie the woman was panicking as she didn’t know how to ride, nor how to escape the villains chasing her.

  I felt the power in the bike as it roared underneath me. It was a dizzying sensation. Adrenaline flowing. Muscles tensing.

  I drove up to the horse and rode alongside them.

  “Cut!” Laila shouted. “I actually got what I wanted. Next shot.”

  The next part was trickier — I had to get on the horse. The bike wouldn’t be moving, nor the horse at first, but it was hard enough to jump onto the horse and then have it gallop off with me standing on its back behind Laura, the stuntwoman. You could do most things with CGI these days, but I was old fashioned. I wanted at least some real footage.

  As we got ready I gave Laura an encouraging nod. She was one hell of a woman — fit, curvy and excellent with stunts and horses. As I looked at her I couldn’t help but think her clothes off. I’d always wanted to date her, but I knew myself — I wasn’t looking for long term. After the death of Shaun’s mom I wasn’t interested. I’d enjoyed the freedom of bachelor life before her and it’s what I went back to doing once I’d overcome some of the pain of her death. Getting mixed up with Laura would mean she wouldn’t want to work with me if things didn’t pan out. And they wouldn’t.

  I sighed.

  “What’s up boss? Getting tired on the bike already?” Laura asked with a teasing smile.

  “Not at all. Just looking forward to some action. Balancing on a still bike isn’t much of a challenge,” I shot back.

  Laura laughed.

  “Yeah, you always did like an adventure.”

  “I did and I do.” Laura was clearly flirting with me. Maybe she’d be cool with a one night stand after all? But I never mixed work with play. If I wanted to seduce a woman I worked with, I waited till the movie was in the can. And then I made damn sure the woman really wanted it. I was not a Hollywood predator who struck business deals just to get sex. Those kind of men disgusted me. But it was clear Laila wanted me — I’d known that for a while. But why focus on Laura? Sure she was a hot redhead, but only last night I’d brought a woman to my beach hangout in Malibu. A woman who would make most men blush…her techniques in bed were so advanced even I learned something. I smiled as I felt myself getting turned on just thinking about it…

  “Camera rolling…and action!” Laila’s voice interrupted my reverie.

  Quickly I jumped up on the horse and it shot off. It was a magnificent sensation. We were on location a few miles outside of L.A. in the Santa Monica Mountains and the scenery out here was unreal. Galloping through the field, surrounded by mountains and lush greenery I felt alive. The adrenaline was pumping through my veins. I loved my job.

  I got down to sit down behind Laura, pressing myself against her. Behind us the sound of roaring engines could now be heard — we were being chased by the bad guys.

  I was enjoying myself, holding onto Laura and grabbing the reins off her. We were riding bareback. It was a marvelous sensation — wild and free. And with a hot woman right in front of me…

  I expected Laila to cut the scene, but instead I heard a loud noise and looking around I saw people throwing themselves to the ground, while our horse started rearing. My grip on the reins and around Laura intensified.

  “It’s an earthquake,” Laura shouted. “Shit!”

  “Stay calm,” I ordered. “Come on, big boy, come on Larry, you can handle this. Calm down.”

  I was scared we’d both be thrown off. We knew how to land safely if we could at all manage the fall, but we needed to avoid trampling and there were vehicles behind us that could run us over too unless they’d stopped…

  Larry, the horse, kept galloping, but he wasn’t rearing.

  “That’s it boy, take it easy. Easy.”

  Slowly, the horse came to a trot and then a halt.

  “Good work boy,” I said and jumped off, so that I could stand in front of him, holding him. I wasn’t sure if there’d be more tremors. Chances were there were.

  “Get off Laura and away from the hooves. We need to get this one back to the stables before he runs off if there’s an aftershock.”

  ***

  That evening, as I drove home along Mulholland, I felt spent. I knew I was returning home to a kid and I was already exhausted. Monica, our maid/nanny/life savior would have everything under control, but Shaun would want me to sit with him. And I wanted to. The earthquake hadn’t made me fear half as much for my life as it had his. Yet I knew if something happened to me…I was everything to Shaun. I knew I should get remarried…but I didn’t want to. I wasn’t interested in love. I’d met the woman of my dreams and she’d died.

  I enjoyed my single life. It was just…Shaun. What if something ever happened to me? Damn. I swore as I hit the steering wheel. Why couldn’t life just be simple?

  Chapter 3

  Pat

  The day after my disastrous audition, I did an inventory of my life — I was sitting on the porch by my tiny little chalet in Laurel Canyon, looking out over it. The view was stunning, especially now, when bathed in the golden light of sunset.

  Laurel Canyon is also known as Hippie Canyon due to the number of hippies and famous musicians that have lived here over the years. No shortage of film professionals, but the canyon got its name in the 60s when artists like Jim Morrison, Frank Zappa and Carole King used to hang out here. Till this day, the canyon store at the bottom of the hills is where the community gathers in the morning for their dose of caffeine and gossip. And if you see the store, you will get the hippie vibe — it’s painted in the best flower power style possible, as is the restaurant in the basement, aptly named Pace (peace in Italian). The food inside is more gourmet (and pricey) than you might first expect.

  Today the sunset had the telltale yellow of winter and the air was heavily scented with burning fires. I took a deep breath. It was soon time to go inside and light my own fireplace — a little cast iron wood burner with a modern design. As I sipped my hot cider, I pulled the blanket closer around me.

  I was preparing for a class that was due the following day with one of my students. While I didn’t want to only teach, it was a brilliant income source. Thankfully the rumor I, “the woman who had coached so and so to fame,” was in town spread like wildfire due to one very happy and influential mother.

  The downside? As I was doing a take on my life I realized I had, in a little over one month, only landed one role in a student film. I had one whole line in that film. It was being shot next week.

  I sighed. Getting a showreel together was harder than I had first thought. Even working for free was not getting me far. I had some promising auditions lined up for the coming week though — a lead in an independent feature (that was at least paid, albeit badly!) and a smaller, but good, part in a student film.

  I needed to nail one of those roles if I was to have a hope in hell of landing a major part in the next five months. I was praying that my connections with casting directors for kids would help set me up with casting directors for adults, but first I needed a showreel and a good one at that.

  The hot cider I was sipping was divine — I’d picked it up in a cute new little café down on Sunset. Cute hangouts (save from actual houses and the Canyon Store) in these parts was fairly unusual. Places like Skybar, a fame-ridden Equinox gym, the famous Chateau Marmont (where cameras aren’t allowed due to the clientele) lined Sunset Boulevard, which was the street just below the Hollywood Hills that led up to the canyon.

  As I inhaled the scent of cinnamon and apple, I couldn’t help but smile. Sure, I only had one role so far, but I was happy here. This chalet was tiny, but
how I felt when walking through the door was so different from how I’d felt in mine and Bill’s country mansion. I felt at home here. Like I belonged in these hills filled with creative energy and quirky, kooky little (and big) places. But I would have to work on roles and making new friends… So far, the lady in the café (aptly named Raspberry Café for its red interiors) was the only one I considered a friend — she was coming over for dinner in the next few days. She was my age, and her spirit was as nurturing as her cakes — sweet and indulgent, but in a healthy way.

  As the sun started disappearing altogether, I rose. It was time to go inside and light the fire.

  As I came up to the fireplace, however, I realized I’d forgotten to restock firewood. Damn! I’d have to go out again, or my planned evening of sipping mulled wine in front of the fireplace while reading a novel, or binging on Netflix, would go down the drain.

  Quickly I put on my coat and got into my new, high heeled boots — a woman my age needed something to make her feel sexy! My boots were that something. Walking into auditions they made me feel like a boss, even though I was well aware the casting director was the real boss.

  As I got into my red little Beetle, I rubbed my hands — the air was getting seriously cold. I turned on the engine and the heat, then drove down the winding roads towards the canyon store. It took me a full three minutes to get there and not much longer to buy the wood. Back in my car, I drove up Laurel Canyon Boulevard, but as I was about to turn into my road up the hills I suddenly changed my mind — I felt like taking a drive.

  In my twenties, I used to love driving in L.A. No, not on the manic freeways that could drive anyone to insanity, but along the Pacific Coast Highway (PCH) and Mulholland Drive. Mulholland at night was something to behold — in places you could look out over the whole city below. The winding road had always made me happy. And now that I was back, why not take a ride? I knew the full moon was supposed to come out tonight, so there’d probably be plenty of people hanging out to watch it rise over the city.

  It didn’t take me long to get up to Mulholland and start the winding drive. Putting my feet on the gas, I once again felt the delirious sense of freedom I used to have in my youth. Soon I also came upon one of my favorite old lookouts and decided to pull over…only I left it a little too late to make that decision and drove straight up to one of the cars there. And with right up, I mean right up — my little Beetle touched the bumper of the other car. “Bump” would be the wrong word; it barely touched the bumper, but had I scratched it? Given the car was a flashy new Porsche, the owner might be a flashy ass. Unfortunately, the two sometimes went together…

  I quickly reversed, drove up next to the Porsche, parked properly and jumped out of the car, ready to defend myself. The last thing I needed was an expensive bill and an angry person to destroy my night!

  As I got out, the Porsche driver also got out, one eyebrow raised as he inspected my Beetle and the stressed expression that was painted across my face. His look conveyed a certain amount of amusement, mingled with slight irritation, as if to say “of course the hippie in the Beetle would drive into a Porsche.” But as he took me in, his other eyebrow joined his first — rising high up his forehead.

  “Pat?!”

  I did a double take. There was something familiar about that man and he knew my name…

  “Jeff! Oh, my god!”

  I didn’t know what to say. I’d just bumped (quite literally) into Jeff Douglas. Stuntman, when I knew him. Hot, when I knew him. Broke, when I knew him. But unlike me, he’d ridden the waves in Hollywood like a pro and now he was a multi-millionaire, if not billionaire… Reading Variety was a habit I’d kept up, so I’d also kept track of his career as it expanded and he became “someone” in Hollywood.

  Jeff gave me one of his big smiles — the one that used to disarm every angry chick in Hollywood and lead to at least three of them going home with him. I guess that hadn’t changed, because while his hair had streaks of grey in the jet black, he still looked as fit and as hot as ever. I remembered him as a guy who was always wearing jeans, but the blue tailor-made suit hugged his muscles and brought out the blue in his eyes perfectly.

  I swallowed. I hadn’t met a man this attractive since… I couldn’t remember. I’d been in a sixteen-year marriage.

  “It’s been a while, Patricia. But I see you’re still driving the same car. And your hair is as fiery red as ever! How’s Bill? Where do you guys live? Why are you back in L.A.? Was that a few questions too many? Come, give me a hug.”

  I laughed and walked into his arms of steel for one of his notorious bear hugs. The guy exuded warmth and masculinity, all dosed with a scent that I was sure cost at least two hundred dollars a bottle. It was divine.

  “It’s nice to see you, Jeff,” I said as we finally untangled ourselves. “You up here to catch the moon?”

  “Yeah, I was just about to climb the fence.” Jeff grinned at me, mischief dancing in his eyes.

  “Me, too. Been a while since I last did it.”

  “I don’t normally come here anymore, but it was such a nice night and it’s been a long week. I thought I’d stop by. Take a breather.”

  I nodded.

  “I meant to drive home after grabbing some firewood, but I came to think of all the times I drove down Mulholland back in the day and I couldn’t resist… It’s still the same wonderful feeling, you know.”

  Jeff smiled.

  “I do. Never grows old. Unlike us. But you look fabulous.”

  His blue eyes traveled all over me, making me self-conscious. I was glad that I was wearing a pair of nice jeans, a cozy but figure hugging ivory sweater and matching ivory coat, as well as the sexy boots. The multi-colored scarf I’d wrapped around my neck, on the other hand…well, I was still me. Colorful clothes and hippie glamour included.

  “Thanks. Older, but still fabulous is how I like to view it. You don’t look so bad yourself. Still doing stunts?”

  He grinned at me, sheepishly.

  “I don’t think I’ll ever grow out of the habit, but I should. Too many broken bones.”

  Same old Jeff then — never could resist an adventure.

  “Good. You’ll help me climb that fence then. While yoga has kept me fit, I haven’t scaled a fence in many years. Especially not in heels.”

  ***

  A few minutes later, I found myself sitting, looking out over the City of Angels, with my old friend Jeff. We’d always been good friends back in the day — we used to like partying and surfing together.

  “So, tell me, what happened to you in the past fifteen, or so, years?” Jeff asked, after we’d stared at the beauty before us in silence for a few moments.

  “Well, let’s see. I got married. I moved to a big lovely house in Wood Creek. I gave drama classes to children and as I kept my contacts with casting directors in L.A., I made a few kids famous and became quite popular. That’s about it.”

  Jeff looked surprised. Probably because that’s not much for fifteen years.

  “And how’s Bill? Kids?”

  I shook my head.

  “No kids. I left Bill. About five weeks ago.”

  Jeff’s eyes widened.

  “Wow.”

  “Yeah. Wow. Moved back to the canyon. I wanted to go home, Jeff. And I wanted to act again. Not just teach, though thankfully that brings in the money. I know it’s crazy, but it’s what I want to do. Act. Bill cheated and I was miserable for years. Not that he wasn’t nice in other ways, that’s why I stayed for as long as I did, but I wanted kids, I wanted to act… I should have left a long time ago.”

  Jeff nodded, looking sad.

  “I’m sorry to hear that. But you know, life is now. Yesterday is gone. You’re finally doing what you love, by the sound of it.”

  I gave him a small smile. I still felt the hurt in my chest. It was hard not to beat myself up as well — I’d fallen for the oldest trap in the world: staying with someone you don’t really want because you really want just a part of them
.

  “And you?” I asked. “Whatever happened to you?”

  A sad smile played across Jeff’s lips.

  “In a way you can say I’ve been incredibly lucky. I worked my way up as a stuntman without any major injuries. Then I became a stunt coordinator. Rattled up enough money to make a movie that became a blockbuster. An action film, of course. Filled with my famous, or infamous if you so like, stunts. Invested wisely from there, which allowed me to keep making action movies. Got rich. Got married. You know me — I always loved playing the field, but Jen was different. Made me want to settle down. Maybe because she herself was so unsettled — an actress always away filming, or away with the fairies doing some artistic project, like re-decorating the house in fifty different colors. But she had problems. Alcohol. Then drugs. Lots of them. In and out of rehab. I was never into the drugs, so I thought I could help her. But I also never understood how drugs could alter a person. In the end, she couldn’t take it anymore. She overdosed. On purpose.”